[RL with Kirk - are you afraid of the dark?]

[cannotemotealie]

[Emo knows that, logically, there's nothing really awful going on here. His mask is gone - so what? Go to bed, sleep through the day, call in sick to work, it'll be fine after the virus wears off. It has to be a virus too because he doesn't just misplace his eyes. But there are sounds in his house and it's a shitty place with shitty locks and what if the virus has nothing to do with the sounds? What if there's - what if someone's in here and he can't see so he can't fight them off and what if they lock him in a closet and burn the goddamned place down or something? He doesn't know what people might do to him and that's the worst part.

At least he can maybe help out Kirk, and then not focus on this, but shit, he can't just wander around without the goddamned mask because that'll put everyone off their fucking lunch. Dinner. God it's so early in the morning, he could just go to sleep -

He struggles out of his room, moves through the living room by memory and reaches the kitchen, groping around for a towel and throwing it over his face before collapsing into a chair - or, misplacing the chair and instead collapsing to the floor.] Fuck!

Comments

[yeswedo.livejournal.com]

But, it was my fault. [It was the first time he'd admitted it since the accident. Well, that was progress. It hurt more to admit it, though, and suddenly it was like the wound was fresh again.] It was a bad judgment call. I wasn't taking it seriously. If I'd listened to Spock-- [He'd still be alive. Bones would still be alive. They'd all still be alive. He wasn't going to cry in front of Emo, though, so he just inhaled deeply.]

I may take you up on that. Not now, though. [He took a drink. It kept him from admitting that he'd prefer to be hallucinating them still alive because then at least he'd get to apologize.]

[cannotemotealie]

[He leans against the wall and tries to tilt his head away from Jim instead of just staring blindly right at him. Shit was disconcerting, he knew that.] I don't know what to tell you, bro, because I don't know if you want to hear that you should learn to live with it or if you should bottle it all up and wait until you get drunk enough to call out Sylar and let him beat the shit outta you or something. What do you want to hear, Jim?

[yeswedo.livejournal.com]

He's not talking to me. [He explained as if that would otherwise be a good option. Getting his ass kicked was always a good choice when things were going to shit.] I haven't heard from him since before the accident. I know he's mad, but shit. I don't know. Have you heard from him? It feels like something's... wrong.

[cannotemotealie]

[Emo snorted and shrugged his shoulders.] The dude's probably sulking. You broke his heart, man, what do you expect? [He didn't know if he was being serious or not so he just shook his head.] He's probably off killing somebody with his crazy Nastyman bullshit. He'll get over it and feel like shit when he comes back to the community and sees... y'know.

[yeswedo.livejournal.com]

It's just a little too ironic for me. He bitches at me about not caring... anyway. As long as you think he's all right. [He picked himself up off the floor, trying to sacrifice as little dignity as possible. Moving back to the couch, he collapsed into it, taking a drink from his beer. Still warm. Eugh. He didn't say anything.]

[cannotemotealie]

He's got fucking mind powers, man, how the fuck isn't he gonna be all right? He's like... I don't know, bizarro Superman or something.

[He was about to espouse on just how much of a crazy, self-defending sonofabitch Sylar could be when he heard footsteps in the kitchen. Okay, not cool, but apparently Jim couldn't hear it so he was just hallucinating. Fuck the community, man, this shit sucked - and then he felt a hand grabbed him by the back of the neck. Abandoning all pretense of pretending not to hallucinate shit, Emo let out a yell and spun, lashing out with a fist and punching the wooden arch leading into the kitchen. Swearing, he threw himself backwards and stumbled over his own feet, falling on his ass.] Son of a bitch!

[yeswedo.livejournal.com]

Well, he's-- [Jim leaped to his feet because suddenly Emo was punching at something that's not there and falling over himself and fuck if that's not worrying. He rushed to his side, putting a hand on his shoulder.] Hey. Man, it's all right, there's nothing there. Nobody's... [He looks around to make sure.] Well. Assuming you don't have any invisible friends... no one's here.

[cannotemotealie]

[Emo barely resisted flailing against Jim's hand, already frustrated at himself for overreacting and still looking around like he could see a goddamned thing.] Fuck. See, I - ugh. [He rubbed his bruised knuckles, gritting his teeth.] If one of those fucking Snots built some kinda fuckin' invisibility cloak, I'mma kill 'em.

[He quietly rubbed his hand for a minute and then mumbled,] This virus fucking sucks.

[yeswedo.livejournal.com]

It's probably got the whole community freaking out like-- [this. That was a bad word choice, so he paused, then recovered.] Freaking out like there are monsters under their bed. We've gotta find a way to stop them. But, not now. For now, let's just get you off the floor. [He wrapped his hand around one of Emo's using it to pull him to his feet and guide him back to the chair.] Anything I can get you?

[cannotemotealie]

[He would roll his eyes if he had them; instead, he just helped Jim help him up and flopped into the chair unceremoniously, putting a hand over his face.] Fuck this shit, man, I'm not an invalid. [Not to say he wasn't grateful; he just wanted to prove to Jim that he wasn't some kind of dumbass blind cripple.] I can usually get around all right without the stupid thing, but - [The house was newer, he never wandered around it blind, he kept hearing people...] It's harder here. ...Thanks, though. I'm good. [A weak grin,] But if you're up, go play wife and get me another beer.

[yeswedo.livejournal.com]

[Jim laughed, patting his shoulder reassuringly. He may not understand exactly what Emo was going through, but he had a sense of how broken he felt. That was something he could relate to.] I'd say I don't want Sylar to get jealous, but, well... Lost him already. [He sounded bitter, but it wasn't bitterness aimed at anyone but himself. He'd spent the week being an idiot and he was just getting what he deserved. It was time to learn not to push people away. Not all of them would keep masochistically running back like Bones had.]

[cannotemotealie]

He's a fucking dumbass, man. [Emo waved a hand dismissively,] The sonofabitch needs to learn to take a damned joke. I mean, it wasn't exactly the most innocent joke ever, but if he were smart, he'd just wait and get you back for it later. Not like it isn't hard to do that. [Pause,] ...Then again, getting you back to him might mean stabbing you or something. You know anything about that?

[yeswedo.livejournal.com]

I probably deserve it. Besides, if he does, Bones will just-- [He got quiet. Bones wouldn't do anything. He was dead. Jim swallowed hard.] You wanted another beer, right? [He turned and quickly headed into the kitchen to get another for Emo. Fuck that conversation. So what if he was running away from it.] So, this is Tranquility, huh?

[cannotemotealie]

[Emo listened to Jim make his hasty way out of the room and sighed, rubbing his forehead. WTG, man.] Uh, yeah. To both of that - it's a shit little hick retirement place. [For superheroes. And he was stuck.] Not too bad a place, I guess. If you're forced to stay somewhere, might as well be here, that kinda thing.

[yeswedo.livejournal.com]

How long are you on house arrest for? [He asks from the kitchen. He takes longer than he probably needs to while getting the beer, but it's better than going out to face Emo and risk being stuck in a conversation.]

[cannotemotealie]

Until I get all my community service shit done. I got... I think a year more of that shit before I can even try to talk Sheriff Lindo about getting out of this place. [He shrugged.] She doesn't have it in for me or anything but I can't guilt trip her into anything. It sucks.

[yeswedo.livejournal.com]

A year's not too bad. [He walks out and sets the beer on the end table beside Emo for him to take, relaxing on the couch again because it seemed like it was safe to return.] What'd you do? I don't think you ever told me.

[cannotemotealie]

[He groped for the drink for a second and then opened it quick, taking a drink before relaxing into his chair and ignoring the sound of someone calling his name from the other room.] Uh. [Well, it wasn't like it was really a secret, anyway, it was in his records and it was publicly available around here-] Might as well tell you, it's not like it matters. Accessory, I got paid to distract a bunch of people at the Chik'n Go so some motherfucker could take out this old dude. [Another swig.]

[yeswedo.livejournal.com]

[A pause.] Take out as in kill? [Jim was starting to realize the kind of company he'd been keeping on the community. But, hell, some company was better than none and his entire ship was gone and his best friends with it, so. He wasn't in a position to be picky.] That's fucked up, man. [He finished off his beer.]

[cannotemotealie]

[Emo bit his lip.] I didn't know. Dude paid me, told me and my crew to go cause a little ruckus, we did, and... well, c'mon. I'm a bad guy, it's how I roll, LOL. [He shrugged,] Besides, after I came around I helped beat off Satan or whatever the fuck he was, so I got some brownie points. Mr. Articulate probably wouldn't hold it against me, either. [Which was kind of shitty, now that he thought about it. The dude was pretty cool, even if his comics got a little culturally insensitive. He felt bad enough about the whole thing already.] He was a cool dude.

[yeswedo.livejournal.com]

[He didn't know who any of those people were, but it sounded like Emo felt guilty enough about it, so Jim just stayed quiet for a while, not sure what to say. It wasn't right to make his friend feel more like shit, but he just didn't have it in him to say 'it's okay.' Not right now.] I bet he was.

[cannotemotealie]

[Oh, that judgemental-san bullshit had to stop right now. He tilted his head in Jim's general direction and frowned.] Hey, man, I'm doing my time for being a retard, all right? I'm not like Sylar, I don't go around killing people for looking at me funny or being insincere when they're flirting with me. [A) nobody flirts with him and B) that's a low blow, but you know what? He's irritated as shit.]

[yeswedo.livejournal.com]

Don't drag him into this. [Mostly because Jim was still worried that he wasn't okay because even if he was as pissed as he said he was, if he was playing the 'I'm a human with emotions' card with Jim, he would have at least commented to that accidental video post. Probably. He sat back in the couch, trying to collect his thoughts on Emo's situation and get off of the thought of how concerned he was about... all of his other friends.] And, I know. I believe you when you say you didn't know, and you're serving your time.

[cannotemotealie]

I'm not - [Yes he was. Okay, shutting up now. He sighs when Jim speaks.] Good. I don't - you getting all bitchy and flouncing would fucking suck right now, is all.

[yeswedo.livejournal.com]

I wouldn't "flounce" on you right now, Emo. Period. You need me. [You're the only one who does and I need to be needed.]