[RL with Kirk - are you afraid of the dark?]

[cannotemotealie]

[Emo knows that, logically, there's nothing really awful going on here. His mask is gone - so what? Go to bed, sleep through the day, call in sick to work, it'll be fine after the virus wears off. It has to be a virus too because he doesn't just misplace his eyes. But there are sounds in his house and it's a shitty place with shitty locks and what if the virus has nothing to do with the sounds? What if there's - what if someone's in here and he can't see so he can't fight them off and what if they lock him in a closet and burn the goddamned place down or something? He doesn't know what people might do to him and that's the worst part.

At least he can maybe help out Kirk, and then not focus on this, but shit, he can't just wander around without the goddamned mask because that'll put everyone off their fucking lunch. Dinner. God it's so early in the morning, he could just go to sleep -

He struggles out of his room, moves through the living room by memory and reaches the kitchen, groping around for a towel and throwing it over his face before collapsing into a chair - or, misplacing the chair and instead collapsing to the floor.] Fuck!

Comments

[cannotemotealie]

I'm pretty sure you don't want a lot of things, Jim. [He raised an eyebrow as best he could,] You know, like getting decommissioned and shit. [A low blow, yeah, but he'd rather have Jim flipping out than him. Shallow, maybe, but... well. He was freaking out over invisible assailants. He had his reasons.]

[yeswedo.livejournal.com]

[Jim tried not to get angry. He really did, but that was just taking it too far. He got to his feet.] Good news is, you don't have any monsters under your bed. Bad news is, I'm done looking. I'm out.

[cannotemotealie]

Out where, you dumbass? Sylar's AWOL and I know what you're doing. The whole "walking out" thing is something my family is known for, and if you leave right now you're just going to be a fucking douchebag. [He should stop, he should apologize, he couldn't be alone right now!] Don't leave, you sonofabitch.

[yeswedo.livejournal.com]

I'm not your family, I don't owe you shit. Maybe if you weren't such a dick I wouldn't be considering it in the first place. Besides, it's not like I don't have anywhere else to go. I've got a fucking family too, you know. In Iowa. They'd be happy to have me back from Star Fleet. [The fact that this wasn't true almost had him in tears. But, Emo couldn't see that, so the lie was in tact and that was all that mattered.]

[cannotemotealie]

[God damn it how did this shit work in the movies? He wasn't Sean Connery and he couldn't do the "it's not your fault" thing because Jim would probably not get it and would sock him -

Well hey.

He pushed himself up and took a step or two in the direction of Jim's voice.] You haven't even told them yet, have you? And you know why I'm being a dick, because you're abandoning me. It's not a cool thing to do. I'm fucking blind, you asshole! I need you and you're gonna back out because you're a coward, huh? No wonder you got your ass decommissioned, you probably walked out on their shrink too! Well boo-fucking-hoo for Jim T. Kirk, former Captain of the USS motherfucking Enterprise!

[yeswedo.livejournal.com]

[He hadn't told him because they hadn't talked to him since he joined. He hadn't told them because he hadn't even told them where he was going when he left four year ago. He hadn't told them because he was ashamed of himself and he wasn't ready to crawl back yet. Without thinking, he lashed out - took a step and delivered a right hook to Emo's fucked up jaw.]

Shut up! You don't know shit about me or my family or my goddamn ship, so just shut up! They're all dead because of me I'm not about to go fucking preach to the world about what a fuck up I am.

You don't know what it's like to have to crawl back while you're a fucking pariah for surviving a tragedy just like the one your dad became a hero dying in. You don't know!

[cannotemotealie]

[Since he couldn't see the punch coming, he couldn't brace for it; he staggered back and fell into the chair again with a shout but hell yeah. That was more like it. Rite of passage and shit, right? He shoved himself back up and glared at Jim's voice.] Cry more, you fucking pussy. I'm really fucking feeling for you and your shitty fucking punches. You'd think they'd at least train a Captain how to throw a goddamned right hook! You're all a-fucking-lone, aren't you, man? Everybody's gotta pity you so you can pretend to be the big bad Jim Kirk! It's fucking bullshit, man! [He lashed out with a foot, swiping it in Jim's direction and could only hope that he really was as close as he felt he was - maybe Jim was just shouting that loudly, but he knew how to get around blind.]

[yeswedo.livejournal.com]

Tell me how I throw shitty punches when you fight a bunch of goddamned romulans, asshole. [He stumbled over Emo's foot, wincing as it stung his shin pretty badly, but he used the momentum to fall towards Emo and grab him by the front of his shirt, dragging him back to his feet.] I don't want your fucking pity, I just want you to shut up. [With that, he shoved him backwards. Let it not be said that Jim treated him like he had a handicap.]

[cannotemotealie]

[It may have been a cheap shot but when he felt Jim shove him, he reached out and backhanded him as he went crashing to the ground.] Why's that? Because you're such a fucking pussy that you can't handle someone actually telling you how you're acting? Which is like a fucking asshole, BTW. Your crew would totally love to see you acting like nothing's wrong, right? [He rolls onto his hands and knees and pushes himself up, slow.] Yeah, if you're gonna run from the guy who actually needs you, who's hearing fucking voices, just because he's not pulling his punches, then I bet they're real proud.

[yeswedo.livejournal.com]

[Jim stumbled back at that, reaching a hand up to blot blood away from the edge of his mouth. Fuck, that hurt. He'd broken his cheekbone too many times for it to not be sensitive.] You don't know them. You didn't know any of them - what gives you the goddamn right to even think about how they'd feel? [He has to restrain himself from going over and kicking him while he's down but fuck it's been so long since he actually got in a fight, it's like he needs it. He just takes a step back and breathes, trying to calm himself down. Trying not to let Emo rile him up.]

You're a fucking idiot. If I didn't know how to keep control of myself in high stress situations, I wouldn't have even made it to the captain's chair. That includes situations like this one. You don't know what you're talking about.

[cannotemotealie]

You're not in a captain's chair. [He stood and grinned, fuck this punk-ass white boy and his little drama show!] Never gonna be, ever again.

[yeswedo.livejournal.com]

[He took a deep breath, trying to keep himself from reacting because dammit Star Fleet had gotten him past fighting inebriated men that were twice his size but, fuck, he took a few steps forward and socked him again - harder this time.] You don't have room to talk.

[cannotemotealie]

[He laughed for once, instead of just chuckling a little "LOL" like the internet personified.] Yeah, why's that? Vecause I never got a big fancy chair and I never blew up a damned fucking starship and killed everyone on board? How'd you live, BTW? Did you walk way there, too?

[yeswedo.livejournal.com]

[Jim grabbed him by the front of his shirt again, but this time drove him back into the wall with it and punched - once, twice, then stopped entirely and backed off, as if he had come to some realization. And, he had. He'd done this barely a year ago to Spock for the same goddamn reason. And, hell if it didn't just make him more upset to remember that because Spock was dead now but he wasn't going to let it work on him.]

You're a fucking asshole, Emo.

[cannotemotealie]

[Okay. Okay ow. Emo groaned and grabbed his face when Jim pulled back, sinking to the floor. He pressed his tongue against a tooth and felt it wiggle. Fuck, he didn't have enough teeth for this shit.] I'm pretty sure that's the reason you got decommissioned. [But he's not trying to be mean, this time; he tilts his head back and groans.] You really got to talk to someone, bro. Sorry about the pimp slap, too, shit comes naturally when you're fighting blind. [Not sorry about the whole thing, though. He felt a lot calmer, somehow.]

[yeswedo.livejournal.com]

No. Pike made me resign because I make Star Fleet look like shit because I can't command a starship out of a crisis without killing 95% of the people on it. [He says this almost calmly. He sinks back into the couch.] Sorry about... well. Whatever. You knew what you were doing.

[cannotemotealie]

Pike's a fucking jackass. [He rubbed his jaw, then leaned over and grabbed for the towel he knew he dropped somewhere around here. Finding that, he tried for cleaning himself up a bit.] I don't need you apologizing to me. You're right, I did know what I was doing. You weren't going to talk, and I heard somewhere that fist fights were a rite of passage. [A grimace,] Probably better if I could actually see where I was throwing them, but whatever.

[yeswedo.livejournal.com]

[It didn't make him smile because, fuck, he'd still lost everyone important to him, but the fact that Emo made that effort to be his friend... it definitely made the pain lessen.] I don't want to talk to anyone about it. I just want to... I don't know what I'm going to do, man. Not go back to Riverside.

[cannotemotealie]

Yeah, I got that pretty much when you stopped backsassin' me and started throwing me into the wall. [He was actually pretty amused by that - how many bottomfeeders on Star Trek websites could say they got their asses kicked by Captain Kirk? (Ex-Captain. That didn't feel right.)] You got a community full of worldhoppers, man, you can go anywhere you want. Don't go somewhere you don't want to go.

[yeswedo.livejournal.com]

Maybe I'll go apologize to Sylar first. [All of his friends were dead. It was time to treat the ones he had left better.] Don't know where I'd even start to look, I don't think "our" house was his actual place.

[cannotemotealie]

[Emo nodded.] Yeah, that might work. You'd think he'd be flattered, man. [And considering he didn't really know all that much about Sylar - after all, when he met him he was in a familial relationship with Giselle and went by Gabriel - it was hard to give an educated guess.] You could try asking the community? Or just asking him, man. You got his number, don't you?

[yeswedo.livejournal.com]

I have a feeling he'd screen my calls. But, I'll give it a shot. Tomorrow, though. You don't mind if I crash out on your couch, do you, man? I'll be here if you need me, that way.

[cannotemotealie]

Yeah, sure, bro. [He tossed the towel in the general direction of the kitchen - he'd fix it later.] Just don't tell anybody I let you beat me up. They might take it the wrong way.

[yeswedo.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I'm not exactly going to go around bragging that I laid into you while you couldn't see, man.

[cannotemotealie]

I could take you blind, man. I'm fucking like Daredevil or some shit. [He gestured around.] There's like... blankets and shit in the closet or something. I think. I dunno, the place came with most of this shit. Use whatever you want. I'm going to... sit here for a minute. [You know, maybe the virus will wear off quick? So he won't have to wander to his room - or make Jim help him.]