But, it was my fault. [It was the first time he'd admitted it since the accident. Well, that was progress. It hurt more to admit it, though, and suddenly it was like the wound was fresh again.] It was a bad judgment call. I wasn't taking it seriously. If I'd listened to Spock-- [He'd still be alive. Bones would still be alive. They'd all still be alive. He wasn't going to cry in front of Emo, though, so he just inhaled deeply.]

I may take you up on that. Not now, though. [He took a drink. It kept him from admitting that he'd prefer to be hallucinating them still alive because then at least he'd get to apologize.]